Saturday, 20 December 2008

Crazy anecdotes

So I just thought I'd tell you about one of the characters at my place of work, this one I will call Zia because she's like a crazy aunt in an Agatha Christie novel and she's Italian.

She is the one who's been working there for about 30 years and once nominated herself for employee of the month (sorry, team member of the month).

Her anecdote for today (which, actually, she does rather a lot) was moving bags. We make popcorn throughout the day and store it in big plastic (not re-usable) bags. Also, we have two bins in the back of Candy Bar (one is a bit bigger than the other) and Zia loves to bustle around in there taking all of the used popcorn bags out of the small bin and putting them in the big bin. She then likes to tell us young 'uns "Don't put the bags in this bin, love, it'll fill up too quickly." or "Now you know you're not supposed to put the bags in this bin, love, I've told you all a hundred times. That Whatshisname is the worst of course."

Tuesday, 16 December 2008

Customer of the Day #3

As you may know if you have ever been to a cinema, it is common practice to have your ticket ripped before you go into the movie. You keep one half and we keep the other and if you need to leave and come back in it's as simple as flashing us your half of the ticket so we know you've paid to be there and already know where to go.

This is a concept which cannot be grasped by the general populous. I could go on and on about all the stupid people who stumble over what I would see as a relatively simple transaction, but I won't. I am here today to tell you about the best of the bunch.

This customer (who will henceforth be known as Sandman because he has curly hair and a permanent deadpan expression) had been hanging around the entrance most of the morning and had come up to me at one point asking

How long as Four Holidays been going?

Me: It should be out in about 10 minutes.

Sandman walks away without another word or expression.

~Later that day~

Sandman crosses the barrier where tickets must be checked.

Me: Do you have your ticket?

Sandman: Yes.
Then he continues walking without even a glance in my direction.

Most people get angry when you ask this, as if it's your fault that they're an idiot. Or they start on a long apology explaining exactly how and why they left their ticket behind and they're so sorry and they'll never ever do it again (which we all know they will). But not Sandman. Nope, he's way too cool for emotion or unnecessary conversation. He just keeps on walkin'.

Monday, 8 December 2008


I hate my phone network. I have been slightly annoyed with it in the past because of the stupid voice that goes "Hmm, it it appears the person you are trying to call is not available" when a phone is unanswered. But, on the whole, it's been pretty good to me and I was a little bit sad when it came time to admit that no one else is on this network and that makes it a bit expensive.

What I didn't count on is that it won't let me leave! I've spent all afternoon calling the old network, the new network and various people in India to no avail. I then went to their websites and found either no information or the old favourite "Error 404" when I see a link that looks promising.

I've had to go to several different websites (unofficial ones, I might add) to get any kind of help in switching networks and even then they tell me I need a particular code but don't tell me how to get it and nor does that ever so helpful introduction booklet.

When I tried the simple approach of just putting the new SIM in the phone I was told to "Insert correct SIM" and when I tried to activate the SIM from the phone I got an "Emergency only" message.

Thursday, 4 December 2008

I can so blog without school

It has not escaped my notice that my blog entries have been somewhat allusive of late. But don't worry fans, I have not deserted you yet! The trouble is, without school sagas I am a little short of stories. I upped (I love that the spell check considers that a real word) my hours at work but am still doing the bare minimum of one shift a week which means fewer crazy customer dealings and fewer stories.

So, in the absence of any real news, I may as well give you a quick update on my life in general.

~ As we all know school is done and, now that the last of the goodbye ceremonies are over and done with, I can get back to important stuff. Like thinking about blogging and then realising I have nothing to say.

~I've done something to my left wrist and it's been hurting for 2 days now. The bandage makes me itchy and I suspect does very little to help the wrist.

~ I recently found out that the guy who plays Luke on Gilmore Girls was also in Saw 4 and 5 and I am severely disappointed in him. I shake my head every time I think about it.

~ I've been reading more books which is great! When I feel like my mind is clear enough I can get started on The Affirmation which is written by the same author as The Prestige. If you know this author and his stories, you'll understand why I knew I'd never be able to focus enough on the book while doing year 12.

~ I had a girls only sleepover the other day. We watched lots of Disney movies and gossiped long into the night. It was great. (The original intention had been to reclaim our girlish innocence from years past but this is a bit tricky when you're old enough to pick up all the sexual reference Walt puts into his "children's" films)

Tuesday, 18 November 2008

All done!

I'm finished! Euphoria has ensued and today it's raining which is great! I love rain, especially in November.
Five exams, all done like a dog's dinner. Now I can do all those things I promised myself not to do during year 12. Oh happy day!

There's really not much more to say until something exciting happens to me (which I'm almost sure it will since I'm now young, single and FREE!) ...That's not 'free' in any sort of sexual way, just to be clear.

Sunday, 16 November 2008

Armaments and the origins of the First World War

Yes, it is every bit as dull as it sounds. Possibly more so.

In case you're wondering, it wasn't Germany's fault. It was everyone's fault and I feel no sympathy for any of these countries. Well, maybe a bit for Bosnia because they were ruled by a man with a silly mustache and that's got to hurt a country's pride.

Saturday, 15 November 2008

Current favourite phrase

"That's gonna be as easy as pie! In fact, it'll be easier than pie, it'll be as easy as reconstituted egg."

Wednesday, 12 November 2008

Curses! Foiled again

I am well aware of the fact that, at home, I tend to get sidetracked with things like washing dishes, answering numerous calls for other people, wearing my new high heels around the house so I get used to them (I swear that's the only reason), posting blogs, getting calls from tele-marketers and giving up on explaining I don't want the thing they're selling because they can't hear me all the way over in India so just hanging up, (sorry if that last sentence wasn't as well structured as it could have been) and playing computer games. I make no excuse for playing the games, I was deliberately avoiding study and there are no two ways about it.

So, today I had planned to go out to school or the library so that I would study better for my last exam (insert celebration dance here). Then the Summer heat we thought would never come, came. 36ºC today and I do not have enough faith in AdelaideMetro to get me where I need to go in under an hour.

And to top it all off - the computer froze so I couldn't save my game, I can't even time-waste effectively.

Thursday, 6 November 2008

Historic starts with H

Before I can continue this post, I must say something close to my heart:

This is not an historic day. This is A historic day.
I have watched the news on every channel and not one journalist, not even on ABC, has got that right and it has been grating my nerves.

Phew. Got that out of the way.

So, yay! The good one got in! I must say though, as much as I disagree with his politics, I do admire John McCain. He's had a lot against him in this campaign but he never got bitchy or whiny and his concession speech was extremely admirable.

The celebrations after Obama's victory made me a bit heart sore, I think the segregation issue might finally come to a close with this and it makes me so excited and so glad to have witnessed it. One day I can tell my kids what it felt like to see it all unfold.

Peace out.

PS: Can you believe I posted about this before Femmy? Neither can I!

Sunday, 2 November 2008

The Final Cram

My head's filling up with
words, words, words
None of them mine
Rather from
Plath, Orwell, Auden and Kroll

Quotes and references,
Direct and indirect
Fill up the Living Room
inside my head

Ibsen and Kirkup
take up the couch
While past and future essays
flutter by casually

Tomorrow they'll have to leave
Only to be replaced
by formuli, molecular structures and the digestive system

Who will have just settled in
When verb conjugations
muscle their way in,
Helped by their pals; irregular verbs.
Some take avere, others take essere (these must agree)

But they will only be kicked out
by the Bolsheviks
who'll commandeer the couch
The Jacobins and Sans Culottes will stand by the fire
And Bismark, Churchill and Wilson
will hover by the coffee table

For one long dinner party
After which, my Living Room head will empty

With only scraps of quotes or statistics
and a wine stained carpet
to remember the year by.

Customer of the Day #2

While nothing can ever quite top the live chickens guy, I do think this one was still worth sharing:

Girl with a group friends: "Can we get two large combos?"

( I go to get two buckets of popcorn and two litres of Coke)

Girl: "Woah! That's way too big!" (turns to group) "So what else do you want?"

Tuesday, 28 October 2008

Job Satisfsction

You know what I love about my job? It's like school but with the boring/difficult bits taken out. No homework, no detentions, no uniform inspections and no exams- that alone should make it pretty darn cool, not to mention the added bonus of being paid to watch movies.

But what I love, really love, are the gossip sessions. Everyone does this in school; you talk about a teacher or a student you both know and weigh up whether you like them or not based on their hair, any physical oddities they may posses, their attitude towards you and others, what they wear on casual days, how well they perform in particular subjects, what subjects they do, their vocabulary, whether they act their age and if they posses a way of making all their shortcomings adorable (or, in some cases, make their attributes annoying). Factors vary depending on the person and how you judge them but the basic premise is always there and makes dull afternoons pass in a blink.
Sometimes both parties involved in the conversation already have a fixed idea about whether they like the subject or not and this then makes the conversation less of a discussion and more of a one sided argument which is equally fun.

We do this all the time at my work, it's great and works best if the person you're talking about has just finished their shift. I may sound like a heartless and judgmental person for taking such pleasure in this but you all know you're guilty of it; it's the backbone of blogging after all.

Anyway, just thought I'd share the findings of my last conversation of this nature; Crazy Football Fan is also a sexual harasser and is on his second warning from management. Yay.

Saturday, 11 October 2008

An open letter

Dear SSABSA (aka Super Sadistic Alliance of Bitches and Sons-of-bitches Australia),

I have a bone to pick with you. I have had this bone for quite some time, all year in fact, and now the time has come to verbalise my sufferings.

Your system is ****ed. It could not be more convoluted if the whole process was determined by a group of cowboys who passed whichever rule their tobacco spit landed on. The bureaucracy is mind boggling; when I learned that I had to hand up my essay with the staple on a 45-degree angle I thought my teacher was kidding. She was not.

Your “study guides” are awful, horrible, disgusting and unachievable. How on earth do you expect anyone to be studying for exams before they have learnt what will be in them? The drawings attached to these guides make my face hurt. With all the money you make in trafficking human misery you should be able to afford an illustrator with a basic understanding of human anatomy. Also, filling pages with generic clipart images does not make the content of those pages any more appealing.

Your website has clearly been designed with the intent of making every 17 and 18 year old across the nation go bald because they are all ripping their hair out in frustration. Are you jealous of our flowing locks? Because if this is the case, SSABSA, you are handling it in a very immature manner and I implore you to reconsider your actions. I caught onto the futility of the website early on in the year and have still lost at least a week’s worth of study time attempting to make sense of the maze you have constructed in which every single page leads back to that **** SSABSA art show. That’s the last thing any of us are thinking about. (Even the art students do not want to look at it.)

I could go on, SSABSA, about your evident disregard for education and your association with Self-esteem Crushers R Us but I would prefer not to think about these depressing facts.

In closing, please be mindful that causing the intentional suffering of others, as you are doing, is most severely punished by the United Nations and Karma. Not wanting to involve either of these higher powers just yet, I will be doling out my own form of divine retribution in the form of rotten eggs, broken windows and … other things.

Thursday, 2 October 2008

Customer of the Day

"Hi, do you allow live chickens in the cinema?"

Wednesday, 1 October 2008

The 7 Steps of Customer Service

1. Greet the customer (or call them over if they look like they're trying to walk past the Candy Bar without buying anything)

2. Take the customer's order

3. Suggestive sell/ Up sell (ie: make them buy more than they need and contribute to the obesity levels of the country. We all have to do our bit.)

4. Get the stuff they have ordered* and arrange on the counter in the correct order: 1. Popcorn 2. Drinks 3. Lollies 4. Ice cream

5. Repeat their order to the customer and tell them the price (this often where one hears cries of "What?!" or "$13 for popcorn and Maltesers?" or the old favourite "Mum, can I borrow some money?")

6. Take their money and count back the change

7. Say good bye and wish them a good day

*This is worded more professionally in the training booklet but I couldn't find that today ... possibly I have burned it or dropped it in the Coke syrup. Possibly.

Saturday, 27 September 2008

My Job

I just read through Zosia's blog about her crazy boss and it occurred to me that I haven't posted any work stories. I must be the only one.
This is not to say nothing blog worthy happens at my work, I just work late shifts and then forget to blog the next day.

So, I work at a cinema and it's in a suburb filled with, for lack of a more PC term, wogs. There are many hoons who "pimped their rides" and girls who seem to have been pimped also. Everyone lives in huge houses and pays for popcorn with $50 notes.

There are 5 jobs in a cinema:
-Candy Bar (selling over priced popcorn and lollies and so forth, then cleaning up the mess people have made on the tiles with their $5.60 Coke)
-Floor (checking tickets, directing people to cinemas and toilets and then cleaning the aforementioned)
-Box Office (selling tickets. It's a pretty sweet deal, they even get to sit down all day)
-Supervising (sitting in the office and making sure everyone else does their job)
-Projectionist (turning the movies on)

I do the first two. When I have proven myself to be reliable and conchy (and more available for weekday shifts) I will also do Box Office.

There aren't as many of the crazy characters that Zosia gets but there are one or two:
- Crazy football fan who literally never stops talking (and you can guess how varied those conversation topics are too)
- Slightly erratic woman who has been doing this job for 30 years, at this same cinema and always works the same shifts (she has been nominated for Employee of the Month once. By herself.)
- Two male supervisors who hold long conversations akin to bitching about the only other male supervisor (I like them both though, very entertaining and don't seem to mind of you don't fulfill all the 7 Steps of Customer Service)
- Battle-axe supervisor who has banned coffee on several occasions and puts up notices on the staff notice board in all caps.

I'm not very good at thinking up nicknames though so I'm open to suggestions.

PS: the 'Wall-E' standee I mentioned in the sidebar is this:

Isn't it cool? You actually sit on it too and lots of customers have had their photos taken with it. (Yes, people take cameras to cinemas now too)

Wednesday, 24 September 2008


Those of you who read both our blogs may have noticed that I made reference to a show called Passions in my sister's blog. It is my favourite soap opera ever in the whole world although these days I don't get to see as much of it because I have study and a faux social life which dominates my day time TV time but my gap year should put at end to that first problem at least.
Anyway, I just have to share the joy that is Passions with you all:

Oh yes, there is magic and a blind priest and lava and living dolls and a few years ago they opened a portal to Hell in Charity's closet but she didn't die there and two witches had a battle and the less evil witch was saved by her doll who is now dead and replaced with another doll and they brought Charity back which was lucky because the priest was almost out of holy water that he'd been throwing at the closet and then no one believed Kay when she told people she'd helped the witch put Charity in Hell because she was jealous of her and they both wanted to marry the same guy who was already married and he didn't know because he was at a big party that everyone in the town was invited to except Charity, Kay, the priest, the witches and some nerdy guy who was supposed to be Kay's best friend but wasn't around in any previous episodes and he saw the Hell portal and stll though Kay was making it up.

Saturday, 20 September 2008

The 18th

A lot of people dressed up and I was happy (I take dressing up very seriously). Here are a couple of piccies I'd like to share:

(That's me in the last one, reaching for a present. I like to think the collective sexiness of emo has gone up a notch thanks to that party)

Sunday, 7 September 2008

It’s Sunday and I have many homeworks to do. This is my journey of procrastination:

11:52 am:
I was just overcome by a sudden urge to get lots of brown paper bags and fill them with pretty things for someone to come across on a later date.

11:56 am:
Couldn’t find any pretty things to put in the paper bags so I filled an envelope with staples and old reciepts.

12:02 noon:
Paced around my room for a while, discovered my box of Birthday choccies was empty so opened a packet of Sour Strips (cola flavour). Currently pondering the question ‘Why do cola flavoured lollies taste more like cola than Coca-Cola does?’
Not that I have tasted straight cola on its own but I can be quite certain that these cola flavoured lollies have their own distinct flavour whereas Coke just tastes like fizzy sugar. (I discovered that at work last night when drinking a mysterious fizzy drink in an opaque cup with an equally opaque lid and was unable to work out what I was drinking until I peeked.)

12:16 pm:
Followed the acting trail of Val Lehman on

12:40 pm:
Just been looking through blog archives (mine and others’)

12:55 pm:
Highlighted stuff in my SATAC guide.

(short interlude for lunch break)

3:26 pm:
I’ve opened some more books and sent some emails and read some more blogs and just remembered that I promised to tell you all about my party.
I’ll do that in my next post.

Friday, 5 September 2008

My adventure at the Bottle-O

I’ve seen Zosia do this before and there doesn’t seem to be any trick to it. She goes in, picks up a few bottle, puts them back, picks up some more bottles and buys them. Easy.

I needed to buy some champagne, beer and rum for my party (the rum is for punch and when I saw that, it made me think of pirates).
I went straight to the wine section to have a look around and was struck with a problem: secretive bottles. That’s right, bottles that refused to tell me what was in them. Now, I’m not completely out of the loop when to comes to booze and I know that ‘champagne’ is no longer the correct word so I knew to look for bottles with the words ‘sparkling white’ on them. Do you think I could find any? No!

After around 15 minutes of wandering around in a circle with my granny trolley (I wasn’t planning to walk home carrying a whole Saturday night’s worth of bottles unless I could wheel them somehow) when I eventually sent a text for help to my sitsas. “tell me about savy champagne, is it any good?” This is because I had finally found a bottle with ‘sparkling’ written on it!

The response from Zosia “never heard of it, so probably not. Try omni or jacob’s creek’ which I did (try, that is) and couldn’t seem to find them. AD is a little less into texting and cut straight to a call which went a little something like this:
AD: So what’s the problem?
NG: I can’t find any champagne and I think the bottle-o staff are laughing at me!
(not exactly a paranoid thought since I’d been wandering around for 20 minutes with a lost expression and an empty granny trolley)
AD: OK, where are you?
NG: (a slight whimper) In the wine section.
AD: (soothingly) Go to the fridges along the wall and look on the bottom shelves …

That’s right, dear readers, my first trip to the bottle-o as an 18 year old and I need my sister who lives in another state to guide me to the champagne.
Mum asked me later why I hadn’t asked for her help beforehand and I suppose it was because silly me thought the bottles would tell me what was inside them! But I’ve learnt my lesson now; alcohol is designed to confuse.

Sunday, 31 August 2008


Hi guys,

I'M 18! (That happened on Monday and so did the start of mid-year exams) my week has been OK; the positives and negatives balanced each other out well.

I have a funny story to post but you'll have to wait until Tuesday or Wednesday to hear it because tomorrow I have another exam and my Independent Study presentation on Tuesday but after that I'm here and free for the blogging about.
I had a swell party yesterday which I'll tell you all about when I get my life back.


PS: I saw Jacob the other day, he was driving his car.

Thursday, 14 August 2008

My Dream Job

I have decided what I’m meant to do in life: I’m going to be a PA.
It’s perfect for me really, I get to write To Do lists and schedules and then someone else does all the stuff I’ve written on them. Then I get to cross of the things they’ve done. It’s all the bits about lists I love without all the bits I hate (i.e.: having to do the stuff). Not only that, I get to be around stationary all day!
… Why one Earth didn’t I think of this earlier?

Tuesday, 5 August 2008

The Emo

I should start by saying that this is not a bitching sesh, this is a lol sesh.
I'll be turning 18 soon (w00t) and I'm having an emo themed party and a friend of mine asked for help with her costume because (going to a private all-girls protestant school) she isn't quite sure what "emo" looks like.
On my google cruise, I found this gem:
A few of my favourite quotes include:

"Emo fashion is much different than any other type of style. Emo kids tend to come off as being outsiders. This carries through on their sense of style."
(It seems emo grammar is much different too.)

"Emo poems and quotes are very emotional and sad. Emo kids typicall write these poems to express their inner hurt."
To exemplify this new style of "emotional and sad" poetry, the site has provided this:
two shots of hate from a mouth as loud as a gun,
like an assasin ... who does it for fun.

two deafening blows in a war that has just begun,
life gone away...i'm done.

two red roses sitting on my coffin, the wind blows, leaving only one
the world i know the setting sun.

And a personal fav:
"Loosely defined, Emo music is music that is highly emotional and very straightforward in the expression of that emotion."

Friday, 18 July 2008


Remember back when you were a wee little thing and you used to grab the little white stick left behind after a lollipop and pretend you were smoking? Remember those magical lollies called ‘Fags’ (white sticks with red tips) that came in a box decorated with rosie-cheeked kids, such as yourself, also smoking? If you were a really tuff kid you might even buy lolly cigars called ‘Big Boss’ that came with a picture of an unshaven gangster smoking a real cigar.

But these innocent piece of subliminal advertising belong to a world of the past. Now when when you walk into a lollyshop you’ll find far safer pictures on the boxes of these well loved products, nothing to give kids dangerous ideas.

Thursday, 10 July 2008

Party Down

That's us ^ and this is how we do it when we do it in the 21st Century.

Wednesday, 9 July 2008

Not something you use to cut rocks in half

PS:I want to tell you all about a little word that is very close to my heart and to my funny-bone;


You are all, I'm sure, familiar with the word 'rock' and such as phrases as "rockin' the suburbs" and "rock my socks". Well, The Young People of Today just aren't content and decided to up the impressiveness of the word by making it... a palindrome! So it became 'roxor'. (Or even 'roxorz' if you're really hardcore)
Then, of course, it needed a rhyme hence the phrase "to roxor one's boxors".

I just explained this to my brother and both of us decided it needed to be put out there on the blogosphere. So now it is and now you can all say "That roxorz my boxors!" with confidence.

PS: The irony has not escaped me that by making 'roxor' 'roxors' (or 'roxorz') the palindrome-ness is lost.

PPS: This all started because we found this article:

Saturday, 5 July 2008

Post-Post-After-Post-After-After Party

Well the Formal has been and gone and somewhere off in the distance people are still celebrating (possibly this is Before Party in the Great Circle of Time and we're just getting in early)

It was a fun night all in all. I spent most of the day in the city looking for a headpiece and a new bra then arrived home and did a couple of loads of washing before actually starting to get ready. Then got a bit worried that we'd be late and rang up friends to find that they were all still getting their hair done and started renewed worry that I would be the first to arrive at the pre-party and be forced to make awkward conversation with parents. It was ok, a few people were there before me and awkward conversation was by-passed by my friend's mother and aunt who decided my new bra needed adjusting and safety pinning to my dress.

Then on to the Big Event, the highlights of which include:
-Losing the Miss Priss award to the only male nominee (mind you, he spent lots, lots more time on his hair that night than I have in my life)
-Dancing the Time Warp and the Macarena with most of my yearlevel (and teachers looking on bemused)
-Watching my old Physics teacher linedance
-The group photo with my friends and our funny word cards (these include gems such as 'Seattle', 'squirrel', 'cordless phone' and 'mukluk')

Tuesday, 24 June 2008

My Formal Shoes

Pretty, aren't they? I think I like them better than the dress now :P


Monday, 16 June 2008


I miss writing. I used to write all the time; bits of stories, poems, lists, quotes, witty thoughts, ideas, letters, all sorts. But I don't seem to have anything to write about anymore, I'm not even inspired to blog because there's nothing new to report expect the over-used Year 12 mantra of "I'm so tired, I'm so stressed, I'm sick of school, I'll miss everyone when I leave, homework's getting too much for me, looking forward to Formal after party, why didn't I choose ... instead?" etc.

It's not even like I have something to be properly depressed over and I'm not depressed, just fed up seems the best way to describe it. I have nothing exciting to tell, my live seems to have transformed itself into a straight, grey line with occasional bursts of raw frustration without me even realising.

Sorry for the lack of funnies. I will compensate by introducing you all to a new favourite site of mine:
For those of you who have not yet been affecting by the world web phenomenon that is Charlie the Unicorn, I strongly recommend you watch it (and Spatular Madness).

Thursday, 12 June 2008

Things I wonder...

Who invented scented toilet paper? And why?

Sunday, 1 June 2008

My 40th!

Yep, this is my 40th post. I'm the same age as Kylie now.
The only trouble is that, unlike Kylie, my life doesn't really have a lot going on at the moment. Nothing blog worthy at any rate. So... I may as well do a snapshot!
My life at present:

- School is a giant, dull, manipulative, life consuming, energy zapping, friendship draining, frustrating and seemingly endless void of crap. (Please ignore paradoxes and such, they are the result of aforementioned)

- Work is tiring and with a general odour of popcorn following me out the door but otherwise pretty good. (Certainly not complaining about getting paid twice as much as if I worked at McDonald's. Yeah, that's right, Macca's slaves, suffer!)

- My love life is almost non-existent which is fine by me. (Not a sentence that gets used all that often I'll bet)

- I've started wishing that apsects of the internet could be transplanted into RW (real world). Namely, those statues signs on MSN such as 'Busy' or 'On the Phone'.

- The cat only wants to eat dry cat food now.

- I have a car. It's my grandpa's old one and now really only mine in the sense that I can wash it and pay for its registration but I can't drive yet.

- The best thing about this year is that when it finishes it wil all be over and done with and I'll have a year to myself. The idea of my Gap Year is what's getting me through everything, no joke.

-Green is my new meditation colour.

Sunday, 18 May 2008


It's become kind of hobby of mine to take down funny things people say in my notebook and I thought I should share them with the blogging community. Here are just a few of my favourites:

"There are some people who suffer from some pretty not good expression."
-My History teacher

"He has muscles, you just can't see them."
-A friend of mine (defending her boyfriend)

"I wanna read real manly poetry"
-A boy in my English class (fed up with Plath)

"But isn't grass usually green?"
-A girl in my drama class

"Let's have matching cushions all the time!"
-My Mum

"Aren't we too old for paedophiles?"
-Another drama student

Friday, 16 May 2008

Let me tell you about my week

I think I must have offended a Pagan God (or at least a Christian Saint) because there's a force out to get me this week.

Monday I got a massive migraine and was sick all afternoon and well into the night.
Tuesday is my late day and I really needed to sleep in but I had to get up early to do all the homework I was meant to do Monday afternoon.
Thursday (yesterday) I sprained my ankle after school (but stayed for our Drama rehearsal because I'm a kind soul) and the nurse had gone home so I couldn't get an ice pack.
Today I'm home from school because I can't walk on this stupid ankle.

When you have a cold or a headache or something you want to rest all day but I don't. I'm alert and frustrated because I can't do anything. I really didn't want to miss school today because I don't want to get behind in anything so I'm even enjoying my day off like I should.

I had to cancel my work shift for this week too which means I can't earn back the money I took out yesterday to pay for my Formal ticket.

Oh, and my period started on Tuesday but, like the external causes of the Russian Revolution, this has done more to aggravate already existing grievances than to cause new ones.

After all that I can only say: Pffffffffffffffffft.
(Although I think it's a testimony to my patience that I haven't been grumpy about it all until today)

Saturday, 10 May 2008

Fishbowl blogging

I feel like I don't read enough blogs, I have about 6 or 7 that I check up on regularly and I'm starting to feel like I've got myself into a fishbowl and I'm not sure how to get out. So... I was hoping y'all could help me out by recommending a few blogs. You can recommend yourself if you like. I just need to break free...

Thursday, 8 May 2008

I am so over...

~English Essays
If you told me in 2006 that I would start to hate essays I would tell you that were a silly poo, but there you go. Everyone reaches their limit and I think I hit mine when I was told to write 1000-1200 words on a book's title last week)

~The School Formal
It won't be for a couple of months yet and I wish the damn thing would go away (never, ever thought I would say that) the only reason I haven't asked for my deposit back is that I want an excuse to wear a pretty dress. Problems have escalated from the limo to accessories to after parties (and pre-parties) to dates. I want to go with Mr. Rudd's cardboard cut-out but the rest of the world doesn't seem to like the idea. (I bet they're jealous)

This is a term I made up the other day to describe boys who haven't had a girlfriend before. (It could probably be used for girls too, but this is beside the point) For some reason, they flock to me. I find this excruciatingly awkward because I hate saying 'no' but don't want to say 'yes'.
I feel a bit like the title role in Good Luck Chuck (November 2007). Chuck has a curse put on him and whenever he sleeps with a woman she finds Mr. Right a short while later. I get asked out by a boy and a year later he gets a long term girlfriend (Statisitcs are: 3 out of 3 and I'll give you updates on the next two in a year.)

Either play the song or don't. Don't try to sort of play the song because it's just frustrating.

Friday, 25 April 2008

My oh my meme

I've been Tagged! Twice! How exciting :)
My first reaction was to wonder just where the word 'meme' came from, I think it must be an abbreviation of the Ab Fab line "I'm sorry if it sounds selfish, Sweetie, but me me me me me!"

So, five things about me:

1. I make up words (rather a lot).
I put this down to the fact that, at an estimated 750,000 to a million words, the English language is not nearly vast enough and sometimes new words just have to be made up to fill a void. (Such as enther)

2. I sometimes wonder if my life is the Truman Show
But then I reassure myself that They wouldn’t have made that movie if it was because I would catch on too easily… but then I wonder if that’s what They want me to think!

3. I’m a feminist as long as it doesn’t involve heavy lifting
While I think equal rights are very important and I wouldn’t want to go back to a time when women had no rights, couldn't work, couldn’t vote, etc. but I don’t really have a problem with gender roles. Men are (generally) physically stronger than women so, as far as I’m concerned, they can carry new furniture into the house and I’ll do the grocery shopping. (Possibly this is an excuse for being lazy, but I like my definition better.)

5. I was born with fake fingernails
This is he only reasonable explanation I can come up with as to why my nails are so gosh darn perfect. People look at me and say “Wow, are those things real?!” and I gave up hoping they were talking about my bust (or lack thereof) a long time ago.

4. I had intended to make all of that very funny
I don’t know if it worked or not though because, after watching Dylan Moran, nothing else can ever be funny again. It all seems kinda dull to me, but I’ll post anyway and y’all can let me know what you think.

I tag… Original Mel, Surfercam, Arian Dalliancer and whoever comments this post first.

Wednesday, 23 April 2008


I'm in a very good mood today. To set the scene;

-I'm wearing purple stockings and a floral mini skirt and having a very good hair day

-I got lost of English homework done and I'm feeling a little less swamped (although I do wish I had a few more days of holidays)

-There has been great music on the radio all day

-I had my morning tea sitting on the back step with my cat

-Later this afternoon I get to look for pretty dresses with my mum

Tuesday, 15 April 2008

Living in a soapie*

You may recall me saying this
~The couple who organised the limo I mentioned in my last post broke up a few days after I posted (I'm still friends with both of them, no one was The Bastard as far as I can see)

~Two days after said breakup I found out about certain rumours doing the rounds. Apparently I am the reason they broke up because the boy was cheating with me. (Yes, me of all people)

~As far as I know the rumours haven't got back to the girl and, if they have, she doesn't believe them which is consoling

in a previous post. (or you may not, so, for your benefit, it has been recreated just up there ^)

What I learnt over my School Retreat (from my Sources) is that the final dot point there is untrue. You know why? Because the bitch started them! Apparently my so called friend has been bitching about me behind my back since I was in Italy! All the time being ever so nice to my face and letting me comfort her when she got dumped by my friend (I missed out on a study lesson to do that, I might add and it meant I had much more homework later in the day.)

Well, that's about all I have to say on the matter. I’ve decided not to confront her about it just yet (I don’t want to say anything whilst in a Rage) however I have made two decisions;
~No way am I paying $40 for her limo, I’ll go with someone else. (Because, unlike her, I have 3 offers for dates and could go with enther of them. Not that I’m being spiteful or anything)
~I am not going to tell my work that I can’t come in on ANZAC day (the day of her birthday party) and miss out on double pay for someone who hates my guts.

After all that it may seem strange to know that I don’t hate her. I very strongly dislike her but I pride myself on thinking the best of people so it takes a long time for me to actually hate someone. (So far, only person I’ve met has managed that)
But I think it would be better for all concerned if I stayed out of her way as much as possible. (The whole thing has made me feel most gluph)

*That is to say, living in a world where beautiful people do ugly things within a small circle of equally beautiful people.

Monday, 14 April 2008

Words that need to be invented #1

Enther – since ‘either’ can only be used when there are two options, ‘enther’ is to be used for more than two.
Eg: I wish enther Gary, Harry or Tom could give me a lift home.

Thursday, 3 April 2008

Pre-Formal Worries, Chapter 2

Strange turn of events
In this chapter Nerd Girl notices a strange turn of events...

Before I let y'all know the story I should give you a bit of background information:
~I have decided I would just assume I'm going to the Formal by myself (but with the groups) because finding a partner has been too hard
~The couple who organised the limo I mentioned in my last post broke up a few days after I posted (I'm still friends with both of them, no one was The Bastard as far as I can see)
~Two days after said breakup I found out about certain rumours doing the rounds. Apparently I am the reason they broke up because the boy was cheating with me. (Yes, me of all people)
~As far as I know the rumours haven't got back to the girl and, if they have, she doesn't believe them which is consoling

The strange turn of events is that today I was (somewhat indirectly) asked to the Formal by three different people!

1. One of my best friends (a girl but we thought it would be great to be the only couple not restricted by the 30cm Rule)

2. The boy from the couple mentioned in the last blog (just as friends but I strongly advised against this for obvious reasons)

3. A friend of a friend who happened to be on my bus this afternoon (he said, and I quote, "Well, if we're both still single by then we should go together.")

This isn't a big teenage rant ending with "Who should I take?!" I just haven't posted for a little while.

Wednesday, 26 March 2008

How could the limo be my biggest worry?

My school formal is comming up soon and numbers need to be finalised NOW (yep, Caps Lock was needed there). My main problem is not that I am depserately lonely and need a boyfriend to go with, no, it is the limo. The limo which I did not organise, was not asked if I wanted and would be quite happy without.
Two of my friends (a couple) have organised this and accomated for 10 people, each paying $40. 10 people actually means them and 4 friends with dates, so far one of us has succeded in that area and now there is tremendous pressure on the rest of us to find a date this week or cough up the rest of the money. Why can't we just go as friends? That was what I expected we would do but suddenly everyone wants to find a date and I'm feeling the pressure now because of the limo costs that is literally the only reason and it has caused me to right the following lists:
Boys I could ask
Girls I could ask
Other people to put in the stupid limo
Alternate means of transport

Goodness golly gosh, I haven't even bought my dress yet! How am I going to find a partner whose hair won't clash with the material I pick out?

Wednesday, 5 March 2008

To that nice girl in the ice cream shop

I met such a lovely person today.
I went to get an ice cream at a little place near my bus stop outside work and when the girl was half way through scooping my honeycomb caramel I realised I was a bit short (this isn't the cheapest shopping district in Adelaide) and I told the girl not to worry but she just said "Well, I'll have to waste the ice cream anyway. Why don't you give me what you have, you can the ice cream and I'll put it through as something else."

Isn't that so lovely? After that I felt I should be especially nice to people around me to make up for that lovely deed done unto me.

Now if that happened at my work the person short of change would be told, in no uncertain terms, that $6.50 for a packet of M&Ms is a perfectly acceptable rate and if you can't afford it, what are you doing in *suburb name withheld*? (Well, we do try to be a bit polite about it. We hint at the ATM outside and all that.) Makes me feel a little guilty really, I wish I worked somewhere that allowed me to be nice to customers.

Wednesday, 20 February 2008

What's wrong with L33T?

First, let me apologise to my readers who have maturity levels beyond that of a school student and look at things in perspective, because this blog will sound like a whiny teenager to you (which it is, but let's pretend otherwise).
I'm in year 12 this year and this disadvantages of this year (stress, mental breakdowns, extra extra homework, etc) are all greatly outweighed by a few simple things: We own this school, year 12 is the year when other students just move out of your way in corridors, teachers put you as top priority and, in general, there are various unspoken rules allowing you to get better service at the tuckshop, take the good seats in the library and make the year 11s feel inferior (and the year 10s, 9s ... well, everyone really except the year 6s 'cause they're so small and cute)

But, what is it that gives us this power? (and it's certainly not height) It is our Jumpers.

Currently we are deciding the nicknames we get written on the front of our Jumper but the teachers have decided not everything was appropriate and are not allowing some names. Some of these seem fair enough not to allow:

But then there are others which are not being allowed for who knows what reason:
T bag
Madam Butterfly
Colonel Sanders
and Nerd Girl. Yes, that's right people, I had to fight for my right to call myself a nerd! It took me half the day and a lot of running to various teachers to finally be allowed to keep that name of my jumper. But even then they wouldn't let me write in L33T speak (N3RD G1RL).
Honestly, what sort of society do we live in where you get called in to speak to the Deputy Principal about something like that?

Wednesday, 6 February 2008

How not to pass highschool

> Order all you text books after school has started

> Go to bed too late and wake up too early. Often

> Choose subjects that all require an Independant Study which you need to work on throughout the year

> Live in an area where buses are unrelaiable, thus making you late and scattered

> Start a subject you have had no previous experience with as your only science subject for Year 12

> Procrastinate on the internet instead of starting your homework

> Spend your frees lessons in the Year 12 Study Hall (has unofficialy been renamed the Party Room)

> Get lulled into a false sense of security when teachers tell you that you'll be fine with all the work.

Saturday, 26 January 2008

Australia Day

Currently it is late (yep, that line is back). I got back to Australia on Thursday and, despite exhaustian, I didn't succumb to jetlag because I didn't go to bed until it was properly bedtime and then I slept until afternoon the next day. I'm quite tired now, it's 5am and I haven't slept but it's my own fault for drinking such strong coffee so late at night. So it's all a bit screwed up, I have to work tomorrow night and I'm hoping my 14 hours sleep last night will see me through the day.

I've had an awesome time since being back, now and then I get that "I still call Australia home" song stuck in my head along with images from the old QANTAS ad.
I went into town today and couldn't help grinning madly at so many little things around me and getting super excited when sales assistants were polite to me (I may have scared a few people). I'm glad I came back so close to Australia Day, seeing all the flags and posters is almost like a special "Welcome Home" from the whole country.

There are so many things I've come to appreciate more since living away from home. Some of them I never expected like wheelie bins, sealed roads, supermarkets with labeled isles, waxing parlours and "discount variety stores".

I really did intend to write more entries while I was OS but, whilst away from home, I realised that the blogs people really enjoy reading are those about monotonous, everyday things they can relate to but given a humourous twist. Sorry folks, but it's true. You have a look t the blogs you read and the entries you find funniest and you'll agree.

Ciao for now a tutti, please excuse typos as I'm just getting back into the habit of using an Australian keyboard again. (After getting so annoyed with the ones in Italy, who'd have thought I'd actually grown acustomed to them)

Monday, 14 January 2008

Need a bit o' help

Can I ask a question to y'all out there in cyber space? How do I put pictures in my blog? Furthermore, how do I put links in so that people can click on them and the site pops as oposed to just having them as part of the text that people have to then copy&paste them?

Wednesday, 9 January 2008

What I'm going home to

It has come to my attention that most of the blogs I've been posting have negative ones, I haven't put in an awful lot about what I've been doing in Italy, what I've seen and all that jazz. Sorry about that ladies and gents, my trouble is that my blog is my way of getting things off my chest.
So, today's post will be a nice one.

I just finished reading this article:
and I thoguht it was brilliant, it sums up what I believe are the real Australian values. It made me very proud to know I come from this country, will soon be going home to it and living with such a friendly group of people.

Now, I know I should write something positive about Italy too but, as I've said, I tend to put the bitchy things in the blog and the nice things in my letters home.
So, it's been very exciting living in Italy. I've learned to appreciate a lot of what I have and don't have and can now look at things in my own life as an outsider might because I've seen how things can be done differently.
No doubt that all sounds very clichè, but who cares? It's true.

My favourite thing about living here, funnily enough, has been my Italian lessons. That is, Italian as a Second Language. The class is after school two days a week and there are only two other people in the class, a girl from Japan and a girl from Thailand. The lessons can be hard because they're taught in Italian but we (the students) are all on an equal footing, all of us are learning Italian and are a little shaky with it. Unlike with my Italian classmates who can all speak English, the conversatinos are slow but enjoyable and we feel like we've accomplished something at the end. (And we have, we've crossed three language barriers to communicate with each other)

Thursday, 3 January 2008

What I miss most

I'm about to break the Code, everyone. You all know what I'm talking about, all kids live by this Code and continue to live by it until they become parents when it still exists but the meaning has changed a little for them. The Code is this: Vegetables are the enemy.

I MISS VEGETABLES SO MUCH! I just finished my dinner and realised that for the past week (maybe longer) I have been craving carrots. Fresh carrots and lettuce and celery! Fresh veggies don't exist here, they have no place in italian society and the food mafia has made damn sure they don't show faces in this country again. Here there are tomatoes, cheese and pasta. Now the Italians have done great things with their food, don't get me wrong, and desserts here amazing. But everything's cooked, I'm not used to that. I'm an Aussie and fresh veggies and I are like this: *imagine two fingers crossed over each other*. Like that!
But, for the next three weeks, I have to live without them.

I swear I could kill that food mafia.