Saturday, 30 January 2010

I've gone native

Well, I've worked out how to get the cars to stop beeping at you. Wear just as much clothing as the local girls. It didn't take a lot of working out, I suppose. But I was sort of resistant to the idea. I've tried to do everything but head scarf to see if that would cut it - it didn't. It's all or nothing here, it seems.

But I tell you, now that I have started, I don't think I can go back. Now when I leave the house I get hijabed up and the results are: no constant beeps from cars and better service in shops. Everybody wins! Also, I'm rather enjoying the challenge of keeping with the "local look" it's sort of like playing culturally sensitive dress-ups.

Monday, 25 January 2010

Things I notice in the Middle East

You know how sometimes if you're wearing a short skirt and walking by the side of the road, you might get beeped by passing cars? Well, it's the same sort of thing here but you'll get it for a wearing a T-shirt. (Not a tight T-shirt either, I felt I was fairly modestly dressed all round.)

The other thing is that, despite the fact Australia is a Western nation and has a free-trade agreement with the USA, it is a lot easier to find various American processed foods here than in Aus. Which strikes me as entirely unfair. I have had stock up on pop-tarts while I'm here because Mum and I share them as a guilty pleasure while watching old episodes of Gilmore Girls.

If you don't know what pop-tarts are (I'll confess I know about them mainly because of Gilmore Girls) this is an example:

Sweet sugary goodness without an ounce of health in sight.

Sunday, 24 January 2010

Can I 'ave spam instead then? #6

A little bit of jetspam to tide you over:

Linda Rodrigues: We Offer═ Our Customers Only Legal Soft.

The only logical conclusion I can draw from this is that they are selling soft toys which most certainly do not contain any drugs. At all. Either that or they put a pile of random words together hoping it would attract someone's attention.

Tuesday, 19 January 2010

Heading out

Just thought I'd let you all know that I'm off to the Middle East again. So... no more customer stories for a while. But I'll post and let you know what it's like (this time I will actually post, not just say that I will but never get around to it.)

Bye for now!

Monday, 18 January 2010

Short changed... again

This prize goes to the woman who just wouldn't leave!

You know how when a shop is about to shut there'll be an voice over the PA telling you it's now or never if you want to buy that tin of corn you've been holding for the past ten minutes. Then there'll be another one telling the shop has actually closed now and you really need to be getting home to your ferns. (I would have said family, but I suspect that a lot of single people shop in my supermarket.)

Anyway, this woman waited until after the shop had closed to come to my checkout with a small basket of goods. This seemed okay to me, after all, she didn't have a trolley. But she had picked a whole lot of things she was sure were on special (most of them weren't) and so each item I scanned she wanted a price check on. That means that for each one I had to call someone over the PA to go and look at the prices on the aisle because I can't leave the checkout.

With every item that turned out not to be on special she would say "Oh, well I don't want that then, can I just leave it here with you?"
Sure you can, that just means that I'm left with a basket full of stuff from all over the shop to put back.

But, the really excellent part is that when she was finally done, she looked around the store and said, "Oh, am I the last one out?"

Thursday, 14 January 2010

Can I 'ave spam instead then? #5

This is not flotspam or jetspam... it's just plain weird. Weird with a capital 'creepy' in fact.

First weird thing about this piece of spam is that it says I've sent it to myself. The second weird thing is the subject line: Come to me my sweet kitty, I'm waiting for you!


Wednesday, 13 January 2010

Sure sign you've been at work too long...

You close your eyes when you see customers approaching, hoping they either won't notice you or will disappear. When you open your eyes and see them patiently waiting you find yourself incredibly disappointed that your plan didn't work.

Friday, 8 January 2010

Crazy anecdotes #2

There's a long and complicated story behind this one which might sound a bit like me bitching. So I'm leaving it out for now. Suffice to say that I had been called into work (at the cinema) at the last minute because they were very busy and drastically understaffed.

You remember Zia*? Well she had three of us folding up cardboard boxes (not really the most important thing to do in the circumstances) for the rubbish collection and... I can only assume we weren't doing it the way she wanted or something because all of a sudden she says, "I swear all you girls think about is sex and drink!"

I don't think anyone had mentioned either of those things all day. Perhaps she can tell from our silence?

*If not, here's where I first mentioned her:
(Yeah, I'm not so good at making links. But you all know how to copy and paste.)

Can I 'ave spam instead then? #4

So, it's been a while... my bad. But this means that my flotspam and jetspam have built up into a nice little pile I can share with you all. What luck!

First the flotspam*: *."FORCE MEN STUFF.".* ( what?)

Garrett Simpson: This watch will underline your refine taste.


Then the jetspam:

Roy Newsome: We will call you back. (Thanks, Roy. Now I don't have to read the email you sent me because I know I'll be getting a call from you soon.) [re 11] Fertilize your male tree (I'm tempted to think this is some sort of innuendo, but if that's the case then they have it the wrong way around. Bit of a puzzle really.)

Darwin Potts: A Submariner SS watch really has the wings. Shop more and pay less here (Good. I'm tired of submarine watches that don't fly.)


*Don't ask me how I sort out the flotspam from the jetspam. It's a very long and complex process which is totally not me just throwing things into two neat piles to make the blog post look a bit nicer.

Customer of the day #15

"Can you tell me what Sherlock Holmes is about?"