Sunday 29 March 2009

Thank you, History class

I went to a quiz night last night. I had sooo much fun (I love quiz nights) and I can safely say that my presence there was needed because the rest of the table was ace at sport questions and I shine in, well... the humanities section.

Q: What was Iosif Vissarionovich Dzhugashvili better known as?
A: Josef Stalin

That's right, 2 years of modern history specialising in the Russian Revolution (and then continuing it in Uni) has not been in vain because I got us 4th place in a quiz night!

Not that I'm going to get picky or anything, but we actually should have won because the teams who beat us all bought bonus points. So pffffffft to them.

Monday 9 March 2009

Raincoats

What happened to raincoats? Seriously, they seem to have just disappeared. Which makes me sad because raincoats are fantastic. Just think about it, when has a raincoat ever let you down? Never, that's when. Raincoats keep you warm and dry and looking fantastically gorgeous all at the same. Unlike other items of clothing, they don't need to be washed and hung out to dry, they don't produce balls of fluff, they rarely rip or need patching and we all know they're cool because teddy bears and Madeline wear them. And cats:

Friday 6 March 2009

Jennifer Aniston

Is not an actress. There we go, I'm just putting it out there. Now, I'm not saying she is bad person, or an ugly person or anything like that. But, to be an actor or actress, there are certain criteria to be fulfilled;

1. One immerses themselves in their role. This means they adopting a characters habits, speaking patterns, facial expressions, etc. Unless every character Jennifer has ever played is exactly the same in all these areas, she's not acting.

2. An actor changes their appearance for different roles. Dressing differently, changing their hair colour or style, applying different makeup and so on. I submit to you,
Jennifer Aniston in "Friends":


Jennifer Aniston in "He's just not that into you"


Jennifer Aniston in "The Break-up"


Jennifer Aniston in "Rumour has it"


Now, just so you can see where I'm coming from, let's compare Jennifer to a real actress.

Meryl Streep in "The Devil Wears Prada"


Meryl Streep in "Mamma Mia"


Meryl Streep in "The Hours"

Sunday 1 March 2009

Goodbye childhood

This is my last day before I'm an official uni student. I can just feel my innocence slipping away from me. Uni is different from school, in subtle but important ways;

1. I don't have to go in on Fridays. At all!

2. There's a pub on campus

3. You are allowed to look nice when you get your ID photo taken. This means not having your hair pulled tightly back from your face, being allowed to cover any blemishes with makeup, being able to wear clothes in colours that suit you, not being told to say "jelly beans" by the photographer. (I don't know about the rest of you, but that request always meant I ended up having a withering stare on my student ID photo instead of a friendly, youthful grin.)

4. During Orientation Week we were given a bag of useful things to help us through university life. This included:
- a pamphlet entitled Alcohol and Your Studies
- condoms
- an invitation to the Naughty Back 2 Skool Inferno: Best naughty costume winner scores big!
- information on emergency contraception (this was entitled Oh $#*! "Because $#*! happens... EC is easy to get anytime from your chemist.")
- information on "What to do if you find used syringes" (The underlining was already there, I didn't add it in)

This poor Catholic school girl doesn't know what's hit her.