Thursday, 24 December 2009

Merry Christmas

I think the Christmas spirit must actually be a real thing that exists for real in the real world in which we live. (for realz)

Why do I believe this? Because I was working at the supermarket today (which is Christmas Eve and the busiest day for shops all year) and it was crazy and people were running late and getting stressed and stuff. But not one single person was nasty to me or yelled at me just for doing my job. I didn't even have anyone rant at me about the plastic bag ban and the only drunk that came in was actually quite nice and paid in correct change.

Wow. That's got to be a record of some kind.

Merry Christmas, y'all. Happy New Year too, in case I'm not back in time.

Tuesday, 22 December 2009

Strange purchase of the day

12 bottles of spray on whipped cream. Nothing else, just our whole shelf of whipped cream. (Cardboard tray included)

What does one person do with that much whipped cream?

Monday, 21 December 2009

Things to do to make your checkout chick love you

1. Give her your shopping bags first. This means before she's scanned all your stuff and put it on the bench thus adding an extra step to the process.

2. Put things you want packed together next to each other on the conveyor belt.

3. Make polite conversation. While she is being paid to be nice to you, it would still be nice if you returned the favour. It makes such a difference to her day and reminds her that she is a person, just like you.

4. Where possible, buy nice rectangular objects -so much easier to pack.

5. Don't yell at her. You'd think that's sort of common practice - not yelling at people. But you'd be surprised how often people forget basic manners when talking to someone who works in a supermarket.

6. Try to give the right change. This isn't always possible, I know. But don't think I don't notice when you sort through the notes in your wallet and give me a 50 when you could have given me a 10 or a 20.

7. Don't abuse her for things that aren't her fault. This includes prices, the layout of the shop, the fact that big bottles of milk are heavy, the person in front of you not speaking English very well, the fact that Mr Rann made plastic bags illegal, the weather, the invention of credit cards and many others.

8. Don't start drooling and talking to her chest.* It's unpleasant.

*Actually, until today, I wouldn't have thought it was something that happened outside of bad sitcoms, but there you go.

Wednesday, 16 December 2009

Customer of the day #14

Lady: What's the movie about 2012 called?

Me: You mean 2012?

Lady: Yes, what's that called?

Me: ... 2012. That's the name of the film.


In other news, you know how sometimes people will describe their memory as being like a sieve? Well, a work buddy of mine (who is welcome to choose her own pseudonym) has told me that my memory is a like a melon scoop. Which strikes me as a remarkably specific utensil... but I think it's a compliment.

Sunday, 13 December 2009

Short changed

The first award of this new(ish) segment goes to...

the man who refused to stop swiping his gift card.

He bought three mini puddings and started swiping his card before I'd even scanned them all. The he told me that they were too expensive and I must have made a mistake so I deleted each of them and scanned them again (he kept swiping his card through all of this).

Then finally we got to the paying stage of the transaction and he stopped swiping his card in surprise because now the Eftpos thingy had gone from saying "Please wait for operator" to "Please swipe card". He seemed slightly taken aback but, old habits die hard, he swiped it twice more (for good measure), I gave him his receipt and he was on his merry way.

(As a side note; this man was not one of the drunks, crazies or non-English speakers who often come through, so there was no excuse for such behaviour.)

Sunday, 6 December 2009

WASPs make mistakes too

Now, I'll be honest, there have actually been a few noteworthy customers at the supermarket already but to describe exactly why they're noteworthy often requires facial expression, tone of voice and hand signals. So they're not really blog appropriate.

I should also mention that the supermarket I'm in, while awesome in terms of transport and places to go for my lunch breaks, is in an area that attracts... a variety of people. I've served quite a few middle class anglo-saxons but more often than that I serve backpackers, exchange students and migrants as well as a fair few drunks and crazies. (Incidentally, I've been doing day shifts for the most part.)

So, my people-dealing skills are really coming into play now and, consequently, it's getting a little hard to choose a customer of the day. Nonetheless, here's one for you now (not one of the crazies or non-English speakers... yet):

So, you know how in clothing shops and such if you find a shirt with a button missing you can get it discounted? Well these two young gentlemen had obviously heard this from their mothers.

Teenage boy: (puts a bottle of soft drink on the conveyor belt) This is damaged, so can I get it discounted?

Me: (looking at the bottle which seems to be all in tact) Umm... where is it damaged?

TB: See? It's ripped.

Me: (still can't find anything) Well the seal looks fine...

TB: No, there. (points to the label on the bottle which has the tiniest of rips in it)

Me: Oh... well, I can't discount that.

TB: Why not?

Me: The product isn't actually damaged, just the label. If it was really damaged, we wouldn't sell it to you because it could be contaminated.

TB: Oh, okay then.

Me: So, that's $2. Would you like your receipt?


PS: Sorry about the title, it's not a great one, I know. But I think I'm using 'Customer of the Day' a bit too much. Any suggestions?

Saturday, 5 December 2009

Customer of the day #13

Lady: Excuse me, I was just wondering, we're running late for our movie so do we have to wait in that line? (gestures to long line of people waiting to buy tickets)

Me: Have you already bought your tickets?

Lady: No.

Me: Well, I'm afraid you still have to wait in line then.

Lady: But we're running late.

Me: I'm sorry but we can't let you in without a ticket and to buy a ticket you need to wait in that line.

Lady: Are you sure? Because we're running late.

Wednesday, 2 December 2009

Customer of the day #12

"Can I please have a regular popcorn with no ice?"

You sure can. It's a bit of a hard ask to serve the popcorn with no ice but I'll see what I can do.