Monday, 22 February 2010

Tips and tricks to pick up checkout chicks

As we all know, in this modern, fast paced world there is precious little time to pick up in bars, clubs and and cruises. More to the point, when attempting to pick up a girl in one of these places, they have the frustrating ability to be able to move away when you get too annoying. Enter retail workers. Not only are they paid to be nice to you for the time your purchases take to scan, they also are not allowed to move away unless you actually a pull a knife out. What better place to play The Game?

So, just a few tips on how to melt your checkout chick's butter:

1. Be over the age of consent - or at least look like you are over the age of consent by doing something about your pimples, pulling your pants up so they cover your boxers and buying something other than packets of chips and bottles of soft drink.

2. Don't be so over the age of consent that you have now entered the realm of "creepy old man".

3. For the love of God, do not attempt to be suave by reading her name tag and then addressing her by that name as often as you can. It's creepy, it makes her uncomfortable, it's unfair because you're not wearing a name tag and it might also be wrong because she borrowed one from a friend after leaving hers at home.

Once you have these basics down pat, you're pretty much set. Essentially, the best way to pick up someone in a supermarket is to not be the kind of person who tries to pick up someone in a supermarket. Bit of a catch-22 there- but what can you do?

Friday, 19 February 2010

To do list

At the cinema we often send people vouchers and things to their emails which they print off and bring in when they buy their tickets. In itself, this is not all that amazing. But when I was sorting through them at the end of my shift, I noticed one of them had a To Do list on the back.

It read:

Clean Fridge

I love Australia. Where else do people write 'Beer' at the top of their To Do list?

Friday, 12 February 2010

Supermarket scandal

Or rather, the lack of one. I am super excited ladies and gents because yesterday (my first day back at work) I served a blind person and a deaf person at my checkout (at different times, of course) and I wasn't accidentally insensitive to either of them! Snaps for me!

Also for the first time, I got to use my second language at work. My boss was so impressed when I said in my interview that I spoke Italian and she said it would be good because of all the tourists etc. who come into our supermarket. So it was good to finally be able to use it. (I'd been starting to think I'd have been better off learning Chinese)

Anyway, there was this guy with an Italian accent, I asked if he was from Italy and he was, so we chatted in Italian. But, it turns out he's been in Australia for 40 years! He asked me how long I'd been here
"19 years."
"And how old are you?"

So, here's a question, who should be welcoming whom?

Wednesday, 10 February 2010

Home again

I wonder what the opposite of culture shock is? Because I think I've had it.

When I arrived in Oman (I suppose because it was my second visit) things did not seem at all strange and the fact that I was suddenly surrounded by men in long white robes put me at ease, rather than on edge like it did on my first trip. So, there was that, first of all - I went to another country and felt quite comfortable. But then, when I got back home, I couldn't get out of that Middle Eastern mindset.

It's summer time here and we're in a bit of a heat wave but I felt I was being horribly inappropriate for going out in jeans and a tank top. What's up with that? This is Australia and I'm an Australian - we invented ugg boots for crying out loud!

But, yeah, after the first two days of fighting with my newly acquired super-modesty, I think I'm finally getting over it. I spent this morning rediscovering T-shirts. I'm even considering going up to the shops in my knee length skirt.