Monday 22 February 2010

Tips and tricks to pick up checkout chicks

As we all know, in this modern, fast paced world there is precious little time to pick up in bars, clubs and and cruises. More to the point, when attempting to pick up a girl in one of these places, they have the frustrating ability to be able to move away when you get too annoying. Enter retail workers. Not only are they paid to be nice to you for the time your purchases take to scan, they also are not allowed to move away unless you actually a pull a knife out. What better place to play The Game?

So, just a few tips on how to melt your checkout chick's butter:

1. Be over the age of consent - or at least look like you are over the age of consent by doing something about your pimples, pulling your pants up so they cover your boxers and buying something other than packets of chips and bottles of soft drink.

2. Don't be so over the age of consent that you have now entered the realm of "creepy old man".

3. For the love of God, do not attempt to be suave by reading her name tag and then addressing her by that name as often as you can. It's creepy, it makes her uncomfortable, it's unfair because you're not wearing a name tag and it might also be wrong because she borrowed one from a friend after leaving hers at home.

Once you have these basics down pat, you're pretty much set. Essentially, the best way to pick up someone in a supermarket is to not be the kind of person who tries to pick up someone in a supermarket. Bit of a catch-22 there- but what can you do?

1 comment:

unique_stephen said...

I found that it works better in the video shop - I got to take both of them home one night.

to ah, er-hm, watch a movie..