Job Satisfsction

You know what I love about my job? It's like school but with the boring/difficult bits taken out. No homework, no detentions, no uniform inspections and no exams- that alone should make it pretty darn cool, not to mention the added bonus of being paid to watch movies.

But what I love, really love, are the gossip sessions. Everyone does this in school; you talk about a teacher or a student you both know and weigh up whether you like them or not based on their hair, any physical oddities they may posses, their attitude towards you and others, what they wear on casual days, how well they perform in particular subjects, what subjects they do, their vocabulary, whether they act their age and if they posses a way of making all their shortcomings adorable (or, in some cases, make their attributes annoying). Factors vary depending on the person and how you judge them but the basic premise is always there and makes dull afternoons pass in a blink.
Sometimes both parties involved in the conversation already have a fixed idea about whether they like the subject or not and this then makes the conversation less of a discussion and more of a one sided argument which is equally fun.

We do this all the time at my work, it's great and works best if the person you're talking about has just finished their shift. I may sound like a heartless and judgmental person for taking such pleasure in this but you all know you're guilty of it; it's the backbone of blogging after all.

Anyway, just thought I'd share the findings of my last conversation of this nature; Crazy Football Fan is also a sexual harasser and is on his second warning from management. Yay.

An open letter

Dear SSABSA (aka Super Sadistic Alliance of Bitches and Sons-of-bitches Australia),

I have a bone to pick with you. I have had this bone for quite some time, all year in fact, and now the time has come to verbalise my sufferings.

Your system is ****ed. It could not be more convoluted if the whole process was determined by a group of cowboys who passed whichever rule their tobacco spit landed on. The bureaucracy is mind boggling; when I learned that I had to hand up my essay with the staple on a 45-degree angle I thought my teacher was kidding. She was not.

Your “study guides” are awful, horrible, disgusting and unachievable. How on earth do you expect anyone to be studying for exams before they have learnt what will be in them? The drawings attached to these guides make my face hurt. With all the money you make in trafficking human misery you should be able to afford an illustrator with a basic understanding of human anatomy. Also, filling pages with generic clipart images does not make the content of those pages any more appealing.

Your website has clearly been designed with the intent of making every 17 and 18 year old across the nation go bald because they are all ripping their hair out in frustration. Are you jealous of our flowing locks? Because if this is the case, SSABSA, you are handling it in a very immature manner and I implore you to reconsider your actions. I caught onto the futility of the website early on in the year and have still lost at least a week’s worth of study time attempting to make sense of the maze you have constructed in which every single page leads back to that **** SSABSA art show. That’s the last thing any of us are thinking about. (Even the art students do not want to look at it.)

I could go on, SSABSA, about your evident disregard for education and your association with Self-esteem Crushers R Us but I would prefer not to think about these depressing facts.

In closing, please be mindful that causing the intentional suffering of others, as you are doing, is most severely punished by the United Nations and Karma. Not wanting to involve either of these higher powers just yet, I will be doling out my own form of divine retribution in the form of rotten eggs, broken windows and … other things.

Customer of the Day

"Hi, do you allow live chickens in the cinema?"

The 7 Steps of Customer Service

1. Greet the customer (or call them over if they look like they're trying to walk past the Candy Bar without buying anything)

2. Take the customer's order

3. Suggestive sell/ Up sell (ie: make them buy more than they need and contribute to the obesity levels of the country. We all have to do our bit.)

4. Get the stuff they have ordered* and arrange on the counter in the correct order: 1. Popcorn 2. Drinks 3. Lollies 4. Ice cream

5. Repeat their order to the customer and tell them the price (this often where one hears cries of "What?!" or "$13 for popcorn and Maltesers?" or the old favourite "Mum, can I borrow some money?")

6. Take their money and count back the change

7. Say good bye and wish them a good day


*This is worded more professionally in the training booklet but I couldn't find that today ... possibly I have burned it or dropped it in the Coke syrup. Possibly.

My Job

I just read through Zosia's blog about her crazy boss and it occurred to me that I haven't posted any work stories. I must be the only one.
This is not to say nothing blog worthy happens at my work, I just work late shifts and then forget to blog the next day.

So, I work at a cinema and it's in a suburb filled with, for lack of a more PC term, wogs. There are many hoons who "pimped their rides" and girls who seem to have been pimped also. Everyone lives in huge houses and pays for popcorn with $50 notes.

There are 5 jobs in a cinema:
-Candy Bar (selling over priced popcorn and lollies and so forth, then cleaning up the mess people have made on the tiles with their $5.60 Coke)
-Floor (checking tickets, directing people to cinemas and toilets and then cleaning the aforementioned)
-Box Office (selling tickets. It's a pretty sweet deal, they even get to sit down all day)
-Supervising (sitting in the office and making sure everyone else does their job)
-Projectionist (turning the movies on)

I do the first two. When I have proven myself to be reliable and conchy (and more available for weekday shifts) I will also do Box Office.

There aren't as many of the crazy characters that Zosia gets but there are one or two:
- Crazy football fan who literally never stops talking (and you can guess how varied those conversation topics are too)
- Slightly erratic woman who has been doing this job for 30 years, at this same cinema and always works the same shifts (she has been nominated for Employee of the Month once. By herself.)
- Two male supervisors who hold long conversations akin to bitching about the only other male supervisor (I like them both though, very entertaining and don't seem to mind of you don't fulfill all the 7 Steps of Customer Service)
- Battle-axe supervisor who has banned coffee on several occasions and puts up notices on the staff notice board in all caps.

I'm not very good at thinking up nicknames though so I'm open to suggestions.

PS: the 'Wall-E' standee I mentioned in the sidebar is this:

Isn't it cool? You actually sit on it too and lots of customers have had their photos taken with it. (Yes, people take cameras to cinemas now too)

Soapies

Those of you who read both our blogs may have noticed that I made reference to a show called Passions in my sister's blog. It is my favourite soap opera ever in the whole world although these days I don't get to see as much of it because I have study and a faux social life which dominates my day time TV time but my gap year should put at end to that first problem at least.
Anyway, I just have to share the joy that is Passions with you all:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HB8LHegCia0

Oh yes, there is magic and a blind priest and lava and living dolls and a few years ago they opened a portal to Hell in Charity's closet but she didn't die there and two witches had a battle and the less evil witch was saved by her doll who is now dead and replaced with another doll and they brought Charity back which was lucky because the priest was almost out of holy water that he'd been throwing at the closet and then no one believed Kay when she told people she'd helped the witch put Charity in Hell because she was jealous of her and they both wanted to marry the same guy who was already married and he didn't know because he was at a big party that everyone in the town was invited to except Charity, Kay, the priest, the witches and some nerdy guy who was supposed to be Kay's best friend but wasn't around in any previous episodes and he saw the Hell portal and stll though Kay was making it up.

The 18th

A lot of people dressed up and I was happy (I take dressing up very seriously). Here are a couple of piccies I'd like to share:






(That's me in the last one, reaching for a present. I like to think the collective sexiness of emo has gone up a notch thanks to that party)